Mother’s Leavetaking

The phone rings. You are alone now.

You go through motions, make arrangements, travel long distances.

Routine feels good. You keep going. Then it registers.

You are alone now.

You buy flour and dig out the cardamom coffee cake recipe.

You start the yeast, you mix in the flour, sugar, salt, butter with only a little bit of cardamom. You feel it grow under your hands as you knead and knead more.

Soon you have a kitchen filled with good smell and loaves of bread to take to the neighbors.

You knock on doors and share the fruits of your doughy labors–twists of cardamom bread dusted with melted butter and sugar.

The magic of yeast, flour, sugar, salt and only a little cardamom keeps you connected.

Without this magic, you are alone and helpless again.

Later you will come to this–the love will always be there. You aren’t really alone.

But for now this is reality. With active yeast and enough flour, you can stay in the world for at least today.